


Of Endings and New Beginnings

by vanillascribble



Category: Far from the Madding Crowd (2015)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, One Shot, POV Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:02:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23495008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillascribble/pseuds/vanillascribble
Summary: Gabriel decides to leave Weatherbury for good. He regrets not telling Bathsheba the truth, that he loves her still despite everything.
Relationships: Bathsheba Everdene/Gabriel Oak
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Of Endings and New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> A/N : Inspired by the 2015 movie 'Far From the Madding Crowd' starring Carey Mulligan and Matthias Schoenaerts, based on Thomas Hardy's 1874 novel of the same name

_**Oak sighed a deep honest sigh — none the less so in that, being like the sigh of a pine plantation, it was rather noticeable as a disturbance of the atmosphere.** _   
_**‘Why won’t you have me?’ he appealed, creeping round the holly to reach her side.** _   
_**‘I cannot,’ she said, retreating.** _   
_**‘But why?’ he persisted, standing still at last in despair of ever reaching her, and facing over the bush.** _   
_**‘Because I don’t love you.’** _   
_**‘Yes, but —’** _   
_**She contracted a yawn to an inoffensive smallness, so that it was hardly ill mannered at all.** _   
_**‘I don’t love you,’ she said.** _   
_**‘But I love you — and, as for myself, I am content to be liked.’** _   
_**‘O Mr Oak — that’s very ﬁne! You’d get to despise me.’** _   
_**‘Never,’ said Mr Oak, so earnestly that he seemed to be coming, by the force of his words, straight through the bush and into her arms. ‘I shall do one thing in this life — one thing certain — that is, love you, and long for you, and keep wanting you till I die.’ His voice had a genuine pathos now, and his large brown hands perceptibly trembled.** _

_**Excerpt taken from Chapter 4 : Gabriel’s Resolve-The Visit-The Mistake from the novel ‘Far From The Madding Crowd’ (1874) by Thomas Hardy** _

* * *

Gabriel Oak has always known that his days at Weatherbury is numbered.

  
He realised that since the day after the fire, as Bathsheba Everdene’s slight figure emerged from the smoke; her shoulders proud and her spine erect as she rode her horse into Weatherbury for the first time and surveyed the damage done by the fire to her newly inherited farm.

  
That was the exact time when Gabriel knew that one day, he would have to leave the place. Not because of her, _but for her._

  
And he has tried to do so. Not just once, but more than a couple of times. But each time he tried to leave, she became the shore that kept drawing him towards her, pleading him not to go, and so he remained by her side, his tender feelings became the gentle waves hitting the cobbled beach that was her heart.

  
But today…today he must leave. The years have been tumultuous, full of events whenever Bathsheba is concerned. But he was not one to complain, as their companionship grew stronger with each trial. For that, Gabriel considered himself a lucky man. Luckless he may be in love, but Lady Fortune has bestowed him with enough kindness since he arrived at Weatherbury, enough to afford him with some savings of his own. Although more familiar with the company of sheep rather than men, he enjoyed the company of the kind folks at Weatherbury too, more than he expected. But content as he was with his tasks at the farm, Gabriel aspired to become something more.

  
Now that Troy is buried six feet under and could no longer be a menace in Bathsheba’s life and Boldwood is imprisoned for life, Gabriel believed Bathsheba will find the peace that has long deserted her. The farm is secured, she need not fear having to sell it off to pay Troy’s gambling debt. It is highly unlikely that husband of hers would return from the dead a second time, nor was there a possibility of Lockwood being set free in the coming days—Bathsheba need not fear the future, not any longer.

  
Seeing as how things have gone back to normal now, Gabriel believed it is best that he leaves first thing in the morning. If he waited any longer, he was afraid he might lose the courage to do so and continue being a thorn in Bathsheba’s side, unbeknownst to her.

Old George whimpered softly as he stuffed his worldly belongings into his rucksack, and Gabriel kneeled down to look at his dog in the eyes.

  
“Well, Ol’ Boy. I’m afraid I must bid you farewell for good, this time. You take good care of her for me now, will you?”

  
Old George woofed once, seemingly resigned to his fate, eyes blinking in the semi-darkness of dawn, mirroring his master’s equally solemn expression.

  
“There, good boy Georgie...you will be missed dearly, buddy.” He scratched behind the dog’s floppy ears, more to comfort them both than the dog alone.

  
A cock crowed from the barn, signalling the break of day and breaking his reverie. Gabriel finished packing and grabbed his walking stick. As he slung his rucksack over one shoulder, he watched Old George running towards the main house, barking all the way and asking to be let in in advance. He stomped his boots over the damp ground, took a deep breath and began walking towards the main entrance. As he unfastened the gate, he turned one last time to look at the farm. Perhaps his eyes were playing tricks on him, but he noticed the curtains in the master bedroom being pulled apart, as a shadow watched him from behind the glass windows. It was too dark to see, but he knew it has to be her—his sweetheart who refused to be his. He tipped the front of his hat—a final salute to her, to their friendship and began walking away from Weatherbury for good.

  
Old George barked once more, a sorrowful long howl as if begging him not to leave and Gabriel’s heart began to break, piercing itself to his rib cage— _I must, Georgie. Forgive me, but I must go.._

He didn’t know how long he has walked. Judging from the sun, it must have been nearly an hour or so. He must hurry if he is to make it to the port before the ship departs for America. Realising that, he began to pick up his pace along the dirt road.

  
Gabriel is unsure what awaits him in California, but he’ll figure something out. Tenacity and patience have always been his strong suits, and Gabriel believed in himself enough to make things work. Years spent in Bathsheba’s company have taught him to be stronger too, otherwise he would never be able to remain by her side, watching her fall in love with Troy and having assisted Lockwood in his romantic pursuit of her.

  
 _Stop it now_ —he reprimanded himself as his thoughts strayed to her once more.

  
 _She is not meant to be yours. Never has, never will be._ They haven’t managed to talk much lately, not since the dust has settled and if there was anything he regretted, he regretted not telling her one thing. That it was never his intention to tame her, as she voiced out when he proposed to her, many years ago.

How he wished he had made it clear to her. That he wanted to marry her not because he wanted to own her or tame her like a shepherd training a shepherd’s dog, as she had ridiculously assumed. No, he had cared for her because she is Bathsheba Everdene—strong, proud, independent and stubborn to a fault.

But of course, she will never know that now, and he only has himself to blame for allowing things to end the way it did. After all, he is a friend, a companion and nothing more—if he had ever been anything more than that, surely, she would have prevented him from leaving. But no, she herself had allowed him to bid farewell, her lips breaking into a soft smile, her eyes marred with feelings he couldn’t fathom as she agreed to release him from his duties at the farm. He knew she harboured some affection for him, but it was not the affection that he was looking for, nor one that he wanted. He wanted her to love him, and despite his feelings for her, he was realistic enough to realise that anything less than that would only cause misery to them both, had they gotten together.

  
With that knowledge in mind, he knew his days at Weatherbury is numbered. He will only remain there if Bathsheba wanted him to. Now, it seemed his presence is no longer necessary. She no longer has any need for him, as she has grown better at running the farm herself. And Gabriel was proud of her for that. That was the Bathsheba he had fallen in love with, a proud and strong spirited young woman who ran after him on a hill simply to justify why she rejected his marriage proposal, and why she refused to belong to any man. He would not change her into someone else, for he believed he would grow out of love with her, had she been any different.

  
Love was not to be his, not in this lifetime at least, and he has grown resigned to such fate. He wished Bathsheba well, and prayed for her good fortune and peace.

  
He truly has resigned himself into forgetting her, and letting her go when he heard the horse’s hoofs gaining upon him, as if someone was chasing after him urgently.

  
Hope spread itself in his chest like a butterfly spreading its wings and yet Gabriel was afraid to turn around, to look, to allow his heart to mend itself and beat again.

  
But then, a familiar voice rang through the moors, breaking the eerie morning silence.

  
“Gabriel, wait.”

  
And Gabriel couldn’t help but to stop in his tracks, as dust swirled around him, signalling someone is fast approaching.

  
_I’ve waited a long while now, sweetheart. Many a long mile, and many a long day._

_-The end-_


End file.
